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Selective Mutism
A child with selective mutism may find themselves unable to speak or communicate in some situations and be fine in select others.
What is Selective Mutism?
Selective Mutism (SM) is a severe anxiety condition, where a person is unable to speak in certain social situations. It is important to note that someone with selective mutism is not someone who chooses not to speak; they are someone who is unable to. When they are expected to talk to people, they may panic and freeze up. It is a similar experience to stage fright. However, some people with selective mutism are completely comfortable with speaking to close friends and family.
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Selective mutism can be hard to understand, but it can also be thought of as a phobia of talking to certain people, and could be associated with social anxiety.
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Some people confuse Selective Mutism with Autism or other learning disabilities. It is important to know that they are NOT the same and selective mutism is not a developmental disorder.
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Signs of Selective Mutism
Here is an example of someone who has selective mutism:
Usually, selective mutism is first noticed after a child first starts interacting with others outside of their family. Signs of this condition include them acting nervous or uneasy, which can make them appear rude or uninterested to others. They could also be seen as clingy, shy, reserved, tense, or poorly coordinated to peers as well. While speaking with people they are not close with can feel overwhelming or impossible for these individuals, it’s important to note they feel the entire range of emotions like everyone else, and the inability to communicate effortlessly with others can bring up unique difficulties. Sometimes, at home, they can act stubborn or aggressive. ​
How and if they communicate depends on how confident they are in that moment. Some are just okay with gestures such as nodding, some talk in softer tones, and some prefer not to respond at all.
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To summarize, kids with selective mutism may appear:
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nervous, uneasy or socially awkward
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rude or disinterested
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clingy
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shy and withdrawn
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stiff or tense
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stubborn or aggressive, having temper tantrums when they get home from school, or getting angry when questioned by parents
Treatments
Selective mutism can be treated, though the older someone is when they are diagnosed, the longer it will take. Some therapies like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are focused more on reducing anxiety that arises around talking, rather than speaking itself.
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One way people can help those with selective mutism is by not acting surprised when they speak. Simply continuing a normal conversation, instead of making a big deal about someone speaking, can decrease the anxiety around communicating and make an individual with selective mutism more comfortable.
Coping Skills
If you or someone that you know has selective mutism, or social anxiety, there are many different coping strategies.
Try these if you are feeling anxious or stressed out:
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Take a time out
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Try getting up and sing, dance, or play music
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Try going outside and get some exercise or play a sport
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Read a book, write or paint
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Take care of yourself
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Do something that makes you happy and comfortable
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Eat balanced meals and healthy food
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Get enough/more sleep
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Try the 3-3-3 method​​
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Try the 4-7-8 method
References:
American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. (n.d.). Selective mutism. American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. Retrieved May 18, 2022, from https://www.asha.org/public/speech/disorders/selective-mutism/
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NHS. (n.d.). NHS choices. Retrieved May 13, 2022, from https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/selective-mutism/#:~:text=Selective%20mutism%20is%20a%20severe,untreated%2C%20can%20persist%20into%20adulthood
What is selective mutism. Selective Mutism Anxiety & Related Disorders Treatment Center | SMart Center. (2020, August 13). Retrieved May 18, 2022, from https://selectivemutismcenter.org/whatisselectivemutism/